Yeah yeah...Long as you acknowledge that it's a great damn gift.
[The pets help. They almost always do, alas.] And yeah, that's why I got glasses out. I put it in the fridge soon as I saw you got it for me, and ran home so I could get it out but it'd still be cold.
You wanna open it? Do the honours, birthday boy? I know it's a gift for me, but I dunno-- it's always felt weird, even if that's just you. I wanna do something more for you, so you should at least get the best part of champagne.
[A beat. He twists his mouth, before gently butting a horn against Mammon's side, careful to not stab him.] I brought some sheets of that edible gold shit from work, too. So we can fuck around trying to put that in the booze before we give up.
[Mammon lets out a laugh.] I shall! Though I suppose it would be suitable if you tried to open it with your teeth, or smashed it open. [His laughter then softening to a smile as Satan adds that,] You did? That's very kind of you since I know you do not care about it on your food. [Aw, Satan, you're being so cute right now! This resulting in more head patting on Mammon's part.
Before he chuckles.] I am not sure I like this more or your normal gift to me. [Aka, Satan showing up to punch or kick Mammon before leaving again.]
And that punch... well... he's still glad to get it. Because it was normal for them. In a very abnormal situation, the lack of impact behind it reminding Mammon of that. Mammon chuckling as he takes that hit, unable to stop himself noticing how weak it was compared to normal, before heading to the kitchen to grab their drink.]
Maybe we can use that gold for something else as well afterwards, since it will not vanish like mine does now days.
Yeah? What's your main idea? 'Cause sticking it to itself is gonna take forever and cost way too much to be worth it. Can't make a real bullion without wasting money.
[Hmmmmm. Sounds like someone tried it. And probably wasted at least a few sheets before giving up. Just a handful, honest!]
You wanna stick it on some normal food, make dinner fancy? We can do that!
[Mammon chuckles as he grabs that bottle of wine, taking a moment to make sure to open it carefully to not damage the casing on it, and returning to fill their glasses. He knows Satan won't care, he'll just drink it no matter how good or poor it is. And he will also be getting Mammon's left over wine as well after a sip.]
I was thinking more covering you with them and licking them off your skin. [Mammon smiling as he holds out Satan's glass towards him.]
[Satan squints. Stares Mammon down, cogs almost visibly turning in his head. Sniffs the glass once it's proffered, as if he gives a shit about what it tastes like when it's not his favourite kind anyway. Keeps staring, squinting, humming.]
...If I get gold shit in my fuckin' asshole, I'll kill you. We clear?
[Mammon laughs brightly at Satan's irritation.] That was not where I was thinking of use it. I promise, I will not use gold for lubrication with you, unless we are ever in a situation where no other alternative is available. In fact, I believe I should carry some with me normally. One of the humans raised concerns with using gold with them. I was not aware it may not be good for the human body.
However I think I will still get some that is gold colored. [Because of course he would.
But for now, Mammon raises his glass.] Thank you for celebrating my birthday with me, Satan.
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[The pets help. They almost always do, alas.] And yeah, that's why I got glasses out. I put it in the fridge soon as I saw you got it for me, and ran home so I could get it out but it'd still be cold.
You wanna open it? Do the honours, birthday boy? I know it's a gift for me, but I dunno-- it's always felt weird, even if that's just you. I wanna do something more for you, so you should at least get the best part of champagne.
[A beat. He twists his mouth, before gently butting a horn against Mammon's side, careful to not stab him.] I brought some sheets of that edible gold shit from work, too. So we can fuck around trying to put that in the booze before we give up.
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Before he chuckles.] I am not sure I like this more or your normal gift to me. [Aka, Satan showing up to punch or kick Mammon before leaving again.]
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[Ha ha ha ha ha. Fuck it though, why not? This birthday deserves more presents than normal, too, so Satan's just going to wind back one arm.]
Brace. Then we fuck around with the gold in the champagne.
[And he
well, you know.
Socks Mammon right in the ass.]
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And that punch... well... he's still glad to get it. Because it was normal for them. In a very abnormal situation, the lack of impact behind it reminding Mammon of that. Mammon chuckling as he takes that hit, unable to stop himself noticing how weak it was compared to normal, before heading to the kitchen to grab their drink.]
Maybe we can use that gold for something else as well afterwards, since it will not vanish like mine does now days.
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[Hmmmmm. Sounds like someone tried it. And probably wasted at least a few sheets before giving up. Just a handful, honest!]
You wanna stick it on some normal food, make dinner fancy? We can do that!
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I was thinking more covering you with them and licking them off your skin. [Mammon smiling as he holds out Satan's glass towards him.]
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[Satan squints. Stares Mammon down, cogs almost visibly turning in his head. Sniffs the glass once it's proffered, as if he gives a shit about what it tastes like when it's not his favourite kind anyway. Keeps staring, squinting, humming.]
...If I get gold shit in my fuckin' asshole, I'll kill you. We clear?
do the deed? or fade to black before sexy times?
However I think I will still get some that is gold colored. [Because of course he would.
But for now, Mammon raises his glass.] Thank you for celebrating my birthday with me, Satan.